New Partnership Fund

A Special Invitation from LIFE's Board of Directors...

Dear Friends,

Looking back over this past year it has truly been an honor and a blessing to have been part of LIFE Ministries. As the Shepherding Board of Directors, we have witnessed the Father’s hand through Randy and Melody Hemphill as they walk with men, women, and couples. It is amazing how every story is unique, having its own beginning and its own path to the point that we are invited to enter. Therein lies the beauty and the adventure the we are privileged to embark on. As was and is with our own marriages, God’s hand is mysterious, confusing, miraculous, healing, difficult, tender, but always good.

We have found over the course of this year that LIFE Ministries often stands in the gap between the church and professional counseling. Ministers are called upon in so many different capacities that it is difficult to devote the time and energy of patiently walking with a couple through their story…the hurt, confusion, anger and bitterness that inevitably attack the core of every relationship. Professional counseling is many times a vital tool in the process. However, the expense and limited availability sometimes limit the effectiveness of truly walking through the confusion of the relational issues and struggles that plague many marriages.

It is in this void that we have found God using Randy and Melody to join the story and help couples find hope and get back to the adventure God has called them to live.

God has truly blessed us by being a part of more and more men, women, and couples’ lives who have the courage and trust to invite us in. However, we are finding that many of these individuals and couples feel the strain of finances as part of their struggle. It is here that support from our partners is so vital to us being able to freely engage and walk with someone without requiring financial support. There truly is a feeling of blessing when we can communicate that others in the community make it possible, through their support, for us to commit our time freely and without hesitation.

As a Board, we have established a Partnership Fund to help reach more couples in crisis. Each $50.00 contribution to this special fund allows us to spend one session of devoted time with a husband, wife, or couple. $200.00 enables Randy and Melody to spend 4 sessions fighting for a relationship. And $500.00 establishes a block of 10 sessions that we can use to minister to marriages in crisis.

You can go to our website at LIFE Ministries and give securely to the Partnership Fund.

We look forward to 2011…another year of watching God at work through LIFE Ministries!

Grateful to be ministering together,

Leif Founds, Mel Hackbarth, and Jared Thornton
LIFE Ministries Shepherding Board

The Mystery of Marriage

"It has been said that the secret to building a good fire is simply to rest one log against another. Marriage builds a good hot fire on the simple principle of resting one man and one woman up against each other in a hypostatic (slow settling) union of persons. 'As iron sharpens iron,' says the proverb, 'so one person sharpens another,' and the saying is nowhere more apt than in marriage." -Mike Mason in The Mystery of Marriage

Letting Go

Letting God
(source unknown)

To let go doesn't mean to stop caring,
it means I can't do it for someone else.

To let go is not to cut myself off,
it's the realization that I can't control another.

To let go is not to enable,
but to allowing learning from natural consequences.

To let go is to admit powerlessness,
which means the outcome is not in my hands.

To let go is not to try to change or blame another,
I can only change myself.

To let go is not to care for,
but to care about.

To let go is not to fix,
but to be supportive.

To let go is not to judge,
but to allow another to be a human being.

To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes,
but to allow others to effect their own outcomes.

To let go is not to be protective,
it is to permit another to face reality.

To let go is not to deny,
but to accept.

To let go is not to nag, scold, or argue,
but to search out my own shortcomings and to correct them.

To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires,
but to take each day as it comes.

To let go is not to criticize and regulate anyone,
but to try to become what I dream I can be.

To let go is not to regret the past,
but to grow and live for the future.

To let go is to fear less and love more.

A Marriage Blessing

A Marriage Blessing...James Dillet Freeman

“May your marriage bring you all the exquisite excitements a marriage should bring, and may life grant you also patience, tolerance, and understanding. May you always need one another -- not so much to fill your emptiness as to help you to know your fullness. A mountain needs a valley to be complete. The valley does not make the mountain less, but more. And the valley is more a valley because it has a mountain towering over it. So let it be with you and you. May you need one another, but not out of weakness. May you want one another, but not out of lack. May you entice one another, but not compel one another. May you embrace one another, but not out encircle one another. May you succeed in all-important ways with one another, and not fail in the little graces. May you look for things to praise, often say, "I love you!" and take no notice of small faults. If you have quarrels that push you apart, may both of you hope to have good sense enough to take the first step back. May you enter into the mystery that is the awareness of one another's presence -- no more physical than spiritual, warm and near when you are side by side, and warm and near when you are in separate rooms or even distant cities. May you have happiness, and may you find it making one another happy. May you have love, and may you find it loving one another.”

LIFE November Newsletter

[Jesus said,] “You have your heads in your Bibles constantly because you think you’ll find eternal life there. But you miss the forest for the trees. These Scriptures are all about me! And here I am, standing right before you, and you aren’t willing to receive from me the life you say you want.”
John 5:39-40

With the invention of the Gutenberg press and the printing revolution of the 1400-1500’s, a major shift began in how we read scripture. There was a movement from “hearing” God’s Word to “studying” it. At the time, very few had a written copy of Scripture. They relied on others to orally pass it down. There was a sense of community and interdependence. No one studied the Bible privately; each person participated in the hearing of God’s Word. Listening was assumed and participation was necessary.

Then came the printed word. The Bible became available in book form and continues to be translated into more languages to this day. What a gift that we have become accustomed to: to be able to study the Bible and develop a personal walk with God. But some things have been lost.

While studying the Bible is incredibly personal, it was never meant to be private.

In my garage is a collection of tools. Over the years, I have compiled an assortment of gadgets to meet the need of most “fix-it” situations. If I need to hang a picture, I have a measuring tape, level, hammer, and nails. If I need to put together a new toy for the kids, I have screwdrivers...flathead and Phillips. If the showerhead is getting a little loose, I just pull out the faithful pliers. Got a problem? I can find a solution somewhere in my garage. Tools are great for fixing problems and keeping the house in order.

Sadly, we have traded participating in the larger story of God’s Word for a toolbox of helps and techniques. Grab a few verses, apply it to the problem, and a solution is provided. Or we delve into chapters and verses like we would a garage full of new tools. Hours are spent in studying, dissecting, handling, and checking off our tool, “to-do” list. All the while, something great is being lost. We have exchanged the beauty of story and walking with God through His Word for a system of Bible study. A relationship has been traded for a toolbox.

Listen to the words of a present-day sage who has spent many hours living in the Word…
“Another way believers can develop listening ears is by noticing that the Bible comes to us as a story. It does not come to us systematized into doctrine, or arranged as moral instruction. It is a story; and the story form is as important as the truth the story tells. This narrative style is intended to shape the way we read, for our spiritual life will not prosper if we are not drawn into the action of God through history, a story that has a beginning, an end, and a plot. Listening to Scripture in the form of story we learn that we are also in the story, traveling toward God, being drawn toward him. We develop a sense of journeying and discipleship. If we fail to develop this “story sense” we inevitably start “applying” the Bible — taking charge of a verse or doctrine or moral with which we intend to fix some fragment of ourselves. This is an excellent recipe for creating good Pharisees (who were great readers of Scripture, but notoriously poor listeners to God).” — Eugene Peterson

Read back through that again...a little slower this time. It is so vital that we recover the beauty and greatness of Holy Scripture. Instead of reducing it down, it is time to be caught up in it.

So, I offer a challenge and guide this month to help us recover “participation” in scripture. This suggestion is merely a way to help unclog our ears and our ability to listen. It is a path to receive the Word as it was originally intended to be heard.

First, go to www.biblegateway.com and print out Ephesians from the Message Translation.
Let’s call this the E3 Challenge…

E1...Read and receive this as a letter. If you got a letter in the mail from a good friend, would you dissect each word and read it in fragments? Of course not. You would sit down and read the letter as a whole. You would want to hear the person’s heart through the pages of the letter. So, the first part of the challenge is to do just that. Take 30 minutes or so and read this letter from Paul. (If you really want to get the feel for how early believers received this letter, have someone read it aloud. Try listening to Ephesians versus reading it.)

E2...Move from dissecting to story. Instead of dissecting parts, hear the overall flow of the letter. What is Paul speaking to? What is the overarching story being told? There is certainly nothing wrong with digging into the details of the story. We are merely trying to steer clear of dissecting and getting bogged down while missing the point of the letter.

E3...Move from toolbox to relationship. Make it personal. Now comes the art of listening to God. What is God speaking to in a present-tense way? If this is a conversation, what are you hearing from God as you read and listen? This may be a good place to journal your thoughts and the things God is bringing to the surface.

This is the E3 challenge for this month. Are you up for it? We would love to hear how things go. Enjoy walking with God, listening to His voice, and soaking up His Word. May your heart be encouraged this month.

Caught up in the story…
Randy Hemphill

October 2010

This is our October newsletter that we send out to Allies...those who pray and support LIFE Ministries.
_________________________________________
“A Father’s Love”

Friday, October 8 was my grandfather’s birthday. He turned 93 years old. And it was not even written down on my calendar.

I often refer to my grandfather as my “dad’s dad” just because I have no relationship with him. I can remember 3 or 4 times of having any contact with him during my life. My kids talk to their grandparents more in one month than I have in a lifetime. He is simply a stranger to my journey. I don’t know him.

My dad, on the other hand, has completely reframed what the Hemphill name now means. A new legacy is being formed. When a father pioneers a new path, a son is able to walk down a trail with a few less scars and a lot more freedom.

Last week, though, I saw more deeply into my father’s journey and heart. I learned something that I never knew before. And it happened on my grandfather’s birthday.

My dad decided, against many internal objections, to call his dad and wish him a happy birthday. With little to no relationship in place, it was a risky decision. How would the call turn out? Would he get a stale conversation and hang up with more regrets? Would it even be worth the effort and call? With questions filling his heart, he took his phone and dialed the number.

After a fairly “normal” conversation and birthday wishes, the phone call was about to end. Suddenly, the words came out of my grandfather’s mouth, “Carl, I love you.” And a thick pause filled the air. Words that had never been spoken in my dad’s 69 years were suddenly uttered from his father’s lips. He returned his love and the phone call ended.

What happens to a man who has gone nearly 70 years without hearing the words, “I love you” from his father? A part of him wanted to deny it and run. Another part of his heart melted at the thought of receiving those words. Granted, the words were certainly not backed up with a life of fathering. But they were still important for him to hear.

Later that day, in talking with my dad, I was struck with something about their conversation. I said, “Dad, I just wonder if your father was not even aware of what he said. Maybe your true Father gave you a special gift and delivered it through the lips of your earthly dad. Receiving these words does not discount the years of fatherlessness but it embraces God’s heart toward you.”

Some of you have my dad’s story while others have my story.

Some have been abandoned, hurt, wounded, and neglected by their earthly fathers. Whether by physical absence or just a checked-out existence, your father was not there for you. This leaves a deep hole in a person’s heart. It is wrong. It hurts. And it deeply affects who you are today and how you relate to God as Father.

Others, more like my story, have been able to walk down a trail pioneered through the heart of your earthly dad. He was certainly not perfect but he was present. In the midst of his imperfections, you were able to enjoy being the “apple of your daddy’s eye.”

Whatever father-path you have been on, there is one thing that remains true for all of us. Our earthly fathers have a profound effect on our present-tense lives. A lot of how we relate to God has been shaped through this key character in our stories.

We work with a lot of people in a one-on-one relationship…we call it spiritual direction. One of the primary places that we are eyewitness to God’s work of healing and freedom relates to father-wounds. It takes some work and effort on your part but it is worth the risk. As Dallas Willard said, “Grace is opposed to earning but not to effort.” You have a role to play in welcoming the healing work of Christ into your hearts.

If reading this has stirred something…carve out some time to be alone and wrestle with a few questions…

*Describe your earthly father with 5 words…the first 5 that come to mind.

*What words do you wish that you could have heard from your dad?

*What would you have liked to have experienced with him?

*What “hole in your heart” still exists from the brokenness of this relationship?

*If God is fathering you right now, why would He be taking you back into these wounds and this relationship? Ask Him…what is He up to?

If we can be of any help in the process…let us know. For now, know that you are deeply loved and in process of being fathered by God.

Peace over you today,
Randy Hemphill

LIFE Allies...

Just emailed this out to our Allies...friends and fellow warriors who partner with us in ministry. Thought I would put it on the blog also...

Friends and Allies...

Wanted to take a moment and share a few things for your heart. Many of the emails that we send are focused on updates and the need for your prayers. And your prayers are vital. I don't just say that because it seems like the "right thing to say". I really mean it. Last weekend, while ministering to some students at a camp, I felt your prayers and support. It was intense and there was plenty of warfare over these kids' hearts. And God was victorious...you played a vital role in that.

For today, though, the subject of "tending to the garden of your heart" is really hitting me. Most of this comes out of my own journey. We have been going at a steady pace since the launch of LIFE on March 1, 2010. A lot of work went into laying the foundation for the new ministry. We have seen many rise up to help serve and lead. Looking back, we are pretty amazed at how much work was involved in the start-up phase. In many ways, we are still in that season of start-up. So, with summer approaching, Melody and I have talked about the need to take care of our own hearts. To take some extended time to be with God and each other. We are planning some down time in July. Time with our boys and time as a couple. This will be time that we protect and choose to not be "ON" as ministers.

In thinking on the summer and caring for our hearts...a few thoughts that may resonate with you...

1. We cannot give what we don't have. I am reminded that I have to take care of my own heart. My personal walk with God, my marriage, my family...these have to be priority in my life. How can I lead others toward freedom when I am not pursuing this for myself?

2. Choosing to be "OFF" reminds me of my dependence to being "ON". Finding worth in what I do is so tempting. We often define a person by asking, "So what do you do?" Our culture is built on being "ON" in our jobs and churches. So much so, that we become dependent on this Nascar-pace of life. You could call it a doing-addiction. Choosing to be "OFF" helps me deal with my own dependencies and just be still. How are you doing at being "OFF"?

3. "Solitude is the furnace for transformation." Henri Nouwen said this and it really speaks to the need for extended time with God. As a minister, I can easily place ministry above relationship with God...sounds weird, but is very true. God does not desire what I can do for Him...He wants my heart. I can offer ALL of me when I am setting aside extended time with God. This is the only thing that will transform and refresh my soul. How's the solitude thing been working for you?

4. Have some fun. Melody and I have talked about how much we need laughter in our lives. We do deal with some intense things as we walk with people...honestly, we would rather do that than anything else. Walking with broken people is our calling. But there are times that we need to laugh. Taking care of our own hearts means building in time for play and fun. The Christian life is not about a constant YOKE around our necks where we are working for God. Jesus gave a great invitation to find rest in Him. To enjoy and have fun with our Father...to really enjoy relationship with Him. Listen to Jesus in Matthew 11..."Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."

Friends and allies...take care of your heart. Thanks for being you and for walking with us in this wild journey...

Randy