New Partnership Fund

A Special Invitation from LIFE's Board of Directors...

Dear Friends,

Looking back over this past year it has truly been an honor and a blessing to have been part of LIFE Ministries. As the Shepherding Board of Directors, we have witnessed the Father’s hand through Randy and Melody Hemphill as they walk with men, women, and couples. It is amazing how every story is unique, having its own beginning and its own path to the point that we are invited to enter. Therein lies the beauty and the adventure the we are privileged to embark on. As was and is with our own marriages, God’s hand is mysterious, confusing, miraculous, healing, difficult, tender, but always good.

We have found over the course of this year that LIFE Ministries often stands in the gap between the church and professional counseling. Ministers are called upon in so many different capacities that it is difficult to devote the time and energy of patiently walking with a couple through their story…the hurt, confusion, anger and bitterness that inevitably attack the core of every relationship. Professional counseling is many times a vital tool in the process. However, the expense and limited availability sometimes limit the effectiveness of truly walking through the confusion of the relational issues and struggles that plague many marriages.

It is in this void that we have found God using Randy and Melody to join the story and help couples find hope and get back to the adventure God has called them to live.

God has truly blessed us by being a part of more and more men, women, and couples’ lives who have the courage and trust to invite us in. However, we are finding that many of these individuals and couples feel the strain of finances as part of their struggle. It is here that support from our partners is so vital to us being able to freely engage and walk with someone without requiring financial support. There truly is a feeling of blessing when we can communicate that others in the community make it possible, through their support, for us to commit our time freely and without hesitation.

As a Board, we have established a Partnership Fund to help reach more couples in crisis. Each $50.00 contribution to this special fund allows us to spend one session of devoted time with a husband, wife, or couple. $200.00 enables Randy and Melody to spend 4 sessions fighting for a relationship. And $500.00 establishes a block of 10 sessions that we can use to minister to marriages in crisis.

You can go to our website at LIFE Ministries and give securely to the Partnership Fund.

We look forward to 2011…another year of watching God at work through LIFE Ministries!

Grateful to be ministering together,

Leif Founds, Mel Hackbarth, and Jared Thornton
LIFE Ministries Shepherding Board

The Mystery of Marriage

"It has been said that the secret to building a good fire is simply to rest one log against another. Marriage builds a good hot fire on the simple principle of resting one man and one woman up against each other in a hypostatic (slow settling) union of persons. 'As iron sharpens iron,' says the proverb, 'so one person sharpens another,' and the saying is nowhere more apt than in marriage." -Mike Mason in The Mystery of Marriage

Letting Go

Letting God
(source unknown)

To let go doesn't mean to stop caring,
it means I can't do it for someone else.

To let go is not to cut myself off,
it's the realization that I can't control another.

To let go is not to enable,
but to allowing learning from natural consequences.

To let go is to admit powerlessness,
which means the outcome is not in my hands.

To let go is not to try to change or blame another,
I can only change myself.

To let go is not to care for,
but to care about.

To let go is not to fix,
but to be supportive.

To let go is not to judge,
but to allow another to be a human being.

To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes,
but to allow others to effect their own outcomes.

To let go is not to be protective,
it is to permit another to face reality.

To let go is not to deny,
but to accept.

To let go is not to nag, scold, or argue,
but to search out my own shortcomings and to correct them.

To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires,
but to take each day as it comes.

To let go is not to criticize and regulate anyone,
but to try to become what I dream I can be.

To let go is not to regret the past,
but to grow and live for the future.

To let go is to fear less and love more.

A Marriage Blessing

A Marriage Blessing...James Dillet Freeman

“May your marriage bring you all the exquisite excitements a marriage should bring, and may life grant you also patience, tolerance, and understanding. May you always need one another -- not so much to fill your emptiness as to help you to know your fullness. A mountain needs a valley to be complete. The valley does not make the mountain less, but more. And the valley is more a valley because it has a mountain towering over it. So let it be with you and you. May you need one another, but not out of weakness. May you want one another, but not out of lack. May you entice one another, but not compel one another. May you embrace one another, but not out encircle one another. May you succeed in all-important ways with one another, and not fail in the little graces. May you look for things to praise, often say, "I love you!" and take no notice of small faults. If you have quarrels that push you apart, may both of you hope to have good sense enough to take the first step back. May you enter into the mystery that is the awareness of one another's presence -- no more physical than spiritual, warm and near when you are side by side, and warm and near when you are in separate rooms or even distant cities. May you have happiness, and may you find it making one another happy. May you have love, and may you find it loving one another.”

LIFE November Newsletter

[Jesus said,] “You have your heads in your Bibles constantly because you think you’ll find eternal life there. But you miss the forest for the trees. These Scriptures are all about me! And here I am, standing right before you, and you aren’t willing to receive from me the life you say you want.”
John 5:39-40

With the invention of the Gutenberg press and the printing revolution of the 1400-1500’s, a major shift began in how we read scripture. There was a movement from “hearing” God’s Word to “studying” it. At the time, very few had a written copy of Scripture. They relied on others to orally pass it down. There was a sense of community and interdependence. No one studied the Bible privately; each person participated in the hearing of God’s Word. Listening was assumed and participation was necessary.

Then came the printed word. The Bible became available in book form and continues to be translated into more languages to this day. What a gift that we have become accustomed to: to be able to study the Bible and develop a personal walk with God. But some things have been lost.

While studying the Bible is incredibly personal, it was never meant to be private.

In my garage is a collection of tools. Over the years, I have compiled an assortment of gadgets to meet the need of most “fix-it” situations. If I need to hang a picture, I have a measuring tape, level, hammer, and nails. If I need to put together a new toy for the kids, I have screwdrivers...flathead and Phillips. If the showerhead is getting a little loose, I just pull out the faithful pliers. Got a problem? I can find a solution somewhere in my garage. Tools are great for fixing problems and keeping the house in order.

Sadly, we have traded participating in the larger story of God’s Word for a toolbox of helps and techniques. Grab a few verses, apply it to the problem, and a solution is provided. Or we delve into chapters and verses like we would a garage full of new tools. Hours are spent in studying, dissecting, handling, and checking off our tool, “to-do” list. All the while, something great is being lost. We have exchanged the beauty of story and walking with God through His Word for a system of Bible study. A relationship has been traded for a toolbox.

Listen to the words of a present-day sage who has spent many hours living in the Word…
“Another way believers can develop listening ears is by noticing that the Bible comes to us as a story. It does not come to us systematized into doctrine, or arranged as moral instruction. It is a story; and the story form is as important as the truth the story tells. This narrative style is intended to shape the way we read, for our spiritual life will not prosper if we are not drawn into the action of God through history, a story that has a beginning, an end, and a plot. Listening to Scripture in the form of story we learn that we are also in the story, traveling toward God, being drawn toward him. We develop a sense of journeying and discipleship. If we fail to develop this “story sense” we inevitably start “applying” the Bible — taking charge of a verse or doctrine or moral with which we intend to fix some fragment of ourselves. This is an excellent recipe for creating good Pharisees (who were great readers of Scripture, but notoriously poor listeners to God).” — Eugene Peterson

Read back through that again...a little slower this time. It is so vital that we recover the beauty and greatness of Holy Scripture. Instead of reducing it down, it is time to be caught up in it.

So, I offer a challenge and guide this month to help us recover “participation” in scripture. This suggestion is merely a way to help unclog our ears and our ability to listen. It is a path to receive the Word as it was originally intended to be heard.

First, go to www.biblegateway.com and print out Ephesians from the Message Translation.
Let’s call this the E3 Challenge…

E1...Read and receive this as a letter. If you got a letter in the mail from a good friend, would you dissect each word and read it in fragments? Of course not. You would sit down and read the letter as a whole. You would want to hear the person’s heart through the pages of the letter. So, the first part of the challenge is to do just that. Take 30 minutes or so and read this letter from Paul. (If you really want to get the feel for how early believers received this letter, have someone read it aloud. Try listening to Ephesians versus reading it.)

E2...Move from dissecting to story. Instead of dissecting parts, hear the overall flow of the letter. What is Paul speaking to? What is the overarching story being told? There is certainly nothing wrong with digging into the details of the story. We are merely trying to steer clear of dissecting and getting bogged down while missing the point of the letter.

E3...Move from toolbox to relationship. Make it personal. Now comes the art of listening to God. What is God speaking to in a present-tense way? If this is a conversation, what are you hearing from God as you read and listen? This may be a good place to journal your thoughts and the things God is bringing to the surface.

This is the E3 challenge for this month. Are you up for it? We would love to hear how things go. Enjoy walking with God, listening to His voice, and soaking up His Word. May your heart be encouraged this month.

Caught up in the story…
Randy Hemphill

October 2010

This is our October newsletter that we send out to Allies...those who pray and support LIFE Ministries.
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“A Father’s Love”

Friday, October 8 was my grandfather’s birthday. He turned 93 years old. And it was not even written down on my calendar.

I often refer to my grandfather as my “dad’s dad” just because I have no relationship with him. I can remember 3 or 4 times of having any contact with him during my life. My kids talk to their grandparents more in one month than I have in a lifetime. He is simply a stranger to my journey. I don’t know him.

My dad, on the other hand, has completely reframed what the Hemphill name now means. A new legacy is being formed. When a father pioneers a new path, a son is able to walk down a trail with a few less scars and a lot more freedom.

Last week, though, I saw more deeply into my father’s journey and heart. I learned something that I never knew before. And it happened on my grandfather’s birthday.

My dad decided, against many internal objections, to call his dad and wish him a happy birthday. With little to no relationship in place, it was a risky decision. How would the call turn out? Would he get a stale conversation and hang up with more regrets? Would it even be worth the effort and call? With questions filling his heart, he took his phone and dialed the number.

After a fairly “normal” conversation and birthday wishes, the phone call was about to end. Suddenly, the words came out of my grandfather’s mouth, “Carl, I love you.” And a thick pause filled the air. Words that had never been spoken in my dad’s 69 years were suddenly uttered from his father’s lips. He returned his love and the phone call ended.

What happens to a man who has gone nearly 70 years without hearing the words, “I love you” from his father? A part of him wanted to deny it and run. Another part of his heart melted at the thought of receiving those words. Granted, the words were certainly not backed up with a life of fathering. But they were still important for him to hear.

Later that day, in talking with my dad, I was struck with something about their conversation. I said, “Dad, I just wonder if your father was not even aware of what he said. Maybe your true Father gave you a special gift and delivered it through the lips of your earthly dad. Receiving these words does not discount the years of fatherlessness but it embraces God’s heart toward you.”

Some of you have my dad’s story while others have my story.

Some have been abandoned, hurt, wounded, and neglected by their earthly fathers. Whether by physical absence or just a checked-out existence, your father was not there for you. This leaves a deep hole in a person’s heart. It is wrong. It hurts. And it deeply affects who you are today and how you relate to God as Father.

Others, more like my story, have been able to walk down a trail pioneered through the heart of your earthly dad. He was certainly not perfect but he was present. In the midst of his imperfections, you were able to enjoy being the “apple of your daddy’s eye.”

Whatever father-path you have been on, there is one thing that remains true for all of us. Our earthly fathers have a profound effect on our present-tense lives. A lot of how we relate to God has been shaped through this key character in our stories.

We work with a lot of people in a one-on-one relationship…we call it spiritual direction. One of the primary places that we are eyewitness to God’s work of healing and freedom relates to father-wounds. It takes some work and effort on your part but it is worth the risk. As Dallas Willard said, “Grace is opposed to earning but not to effort.” You have a role to play in welcoming the healing work of Christ into your hearts.

If reading this has stirred something…carve out some time to be alone and wrestle with a few questions…

*Describe your earthly father with 5 words…the first 5 that come to mind.

*What words do you wish that you could have heard from your dad?

*What would you have liked to have experienced with him?

*What “hole in your heart” still exists from the brokenness of this relationship?

*If God is fathering you right now, why would He be taking you back into these wounds and this relationship? Ask Him…what is He up to?

If we can be of any help in the process…let us know. For now, know that you are deeply loved and in process of being fathered by God.

Peace over you today,
Randy Hemphill

LIFE Allies...

Just emailed this out to our Allies...friends and fellow warriors who partner with us in ministry. Thought I would put it on the blog also...

Friends and Allies...

Wanted to take a moment and share a few things for your heart. Many of the emails that we send are focused on updates and the need for your prayers. And your prayers are vital. I don't just say that because it seems like the "right thing to say". I really mean it. Last weekend, while ministering to some students at a camp, I felt your prayers and support. It was intense and there was plenty of warfare over these kids' hearts. And God was victorious...you played a vital role in that.

For today, though, the subject of "tending to the garden of your heart" is really hitting me. Most of this comes out of my own journey. We have been going at a steady pace since the launch of LIFE on March 1, 2010. A lot of work went into laying the foundation for the new ministry. We have seen many rise up to help serve and lead. Looking back, we are pretty amazed at how much work was involved in the start-up phase. In many ways, we are still in that season of start-up. So, with summer approaching, Melody and I have talked about the need to take care of our own hearts. To take some extended time to be with God and each other. We are planning some down time in July. Time with our boys and time as a couple. This will be time that we protect and choose to not be "ON" as ministers.

In thinking on the summer and caring for our hearts...a few thoughts that may resonate with you...

1. We cannot give what we don't have. I am reminded that I have to take care of my own heart. My personal walk with God, my marriage, my family...these have to be priority in my life. How can I lead others toward freedom when I am not pursuing this for myself?

2. Choosing to be "OFF" reminds me of my dependence to being "ON". Finding worth in what I do is so tempting. We often define a person by asking, "So what do you do?" Our culture is built on being "ON" in our jobs and churches. So much so, that we become dependent on this Nascar-pace of life. You could call it a doing-addiction. Choosing to be "OFF" helps me deal with my own dependencies and just be still. How are you doing at being "OFF"?

3. "Solitude is the furnace for transformation." Henri Nouwen said this and it really speaks to the need for extended time with God. As a minister, I can easily place ministry above relationship with God...sounds weird, but is very true. God does not desire what I can do for Him...He wants my heart. I can offer ALL of me when I am setting aside extended time with God. This is the only thing that will transform and refresh my soul. How's the solitude thing been working for you?

4. Have some fun. Melody and I have talked about how much we need laughter in our lives. We do deal with some intense things as we walk with people...honestly, we would rather do that than anything else. Walking with broken people is our calling. But there are times that we need to laugh. Taking care of our own hearts means building in time for play and fun. The Christian life is not about a constant YOKE around our necks where we are working for God. Jesus gave a great invitation to find rest in Him. To enjoy and have fun with our Father...to really enjoy relationship with Him. Listen to Jesus in Matthew 11..."Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."

Friends and allies...take care of your heart. Thanks for being you and for walking with us in this wild journey...

Randy

Smile

Was looking through some old pics of Caleb and Brennan tonight...just reminded me of some fun times together. Really made me smile.

You know, I hope my kids remember my smile. As a parent, they see a lot of gestures and smirks on my face. Probably more than I ever realize. They can probably read my face better than most anyone. Will they remember my smile? More than disappointment, worry, fear, or frustration...which are common to my 35 year old face...I want them to see a smile. I want them to know of my delight in them. Not for what they can do for me, but for who they are. I just really love them. As they are. They are asleep as I type and I am smiling on them, even now.

What is my typical image or memory of God, my Father? I seem to easily remember times when I must have disappointed God, let Him down, and frustrated Him. I can see that look. But do I see Him smiling on me? Kind of weird to think of God smiling, isn't it? Almost sounds anti-God or something.

So, I am a fragile, imperfect father...and I want my kids to remember my smile...more than anything else...to plaster that face on their memory. To know my delight.

So, God is my solid, perfect Father...what if He wants me to remember His smile...more than anything else...to plaster that face on my memory. To know His delight.

Recent Family Pics

Scaffolding...

A line from the new book we are writing...that really struck me today...written from Melody's heart...
"When your life's scaffolding is built on trying to be the person that you think you should be rather than embracing the person that you are, you never really get to enjoy living."

Burn-Out

Spiritual Burnout happens when we are running for God more than walking with God.

Discipline of Spiritual Direction

Teaching a class on wednesday nights at our church. The course is on the disciplines...learning to walk with God. Last night, we covered the discipline of spiritual direction. For those interested, see below for additional info...
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“Guidance is the most RADICAL of the Disciplines because it goes to the heart of this matter of walking with God. Guidance means the glorious life of hearing God’s voice and obeying His word.”

The goal of guidance is not specific instructions about this or that matter but conformity to the image of Christ. Paul said, “Those whom he foreknew he predestined to be conformed to the image of his son” (Romans 8:28b).

We make such a mystery out of the matter of the will of God. The will of God is discovered as we become acquainted with God, learn His ways, and become His friend. As the friendship grows, as the conformity grows, we will know instinctively what actions would please Him, what decisions would be in accord with His way.

Some Key Passages…
*Proverbs 27:17…graphically pictures the growth that takes place in communitiy.
*Matthew 18:19-20…proclaims the assurance of divine presence and the power of divine guidance for believers gathered in Jesus’ name.
*Acts 2:1-4…recounts the commissioning of gathered believers in Pentecost. The entire book of Acts provides numerous models of divine guidance in the community of faith.
*1 Corinthians 10:23-11:1…provides guidelines for Christian freedom based on what will benefit others both inside and outside the community of faith.
*Galatians 6:1-10…teaches individual responsibility within the context of the shared life of Christian community.

Reasons that we should seek out spiritual direction…
*learning how to walk with God
*need to deal with an ongoing struggle/sin
*clarity on an important decision
*desire for freedom and life
*feel “stuck” in your life
*finding repeating patterns in behavior
*feel distant from God
*dried up on religion

Ways to practice Guidance this week…
Receiving Spiritual Direction/Guidance (being poured into)
-Requires brokenness and humility to seek this out
-Ask God to provide this person or show you this person
-Needs to be the same gender
-Needs to be someone who understands brokenness/healing and has submitted to the process him/herself
-Identify the core issues that you want to work through
-Set boundaries to when you will meet, how often, and for how long
-A key component is entering into wounds, breaking agreements, and ushering in healing

Giving Spiritual Direction/Guidance (pouring into others)
-Be careful not to rescue.
-Allow the law of sowing/reaping to happen.
-Be sure to keep your own heart in check.
-Do more listening than talking.
-The best spiritual direction involves asking more questions than giving answers. Allow and encourage the person to wrestle with God and their own issues.

So, what's the point?

It is interesting to follow how we (believers/the church) try to make sub-points into the main point. We take an appetizer, a dessert, a side-dish and deliver it as the main course, the main dish. I don't think we intentionally do this. We don't set out to communicate a life that involves pouring into the fringes instead of the heart, the core.

But we do this? Don't we? Preachers, leaders, teachers...us, the church. We try to fit the square peg called "good" into a round hole called "best". What is the point of the Christian life? What is the point of Jesus coming and giving his life? What does it mean to be a follower of Christ? A person on the way who is following The Way?

So, what's the point?
Is it...
*To build buildings that we call "the church"...no, that's temporary and material.
*To reach the nations for the gospel...no, important, but still a by-product.
*To protect God's name...no, don't think He needs our flimsy, protective measures.
*To ascend to a set of truths/beliefs...no, seems void of heart.
*To live simple and free of consumerism...no, still a side-dish.
*To help the poor and needy...no, vital, but incomplete.
*To plant churches and multiply our efforts...no, great thing, but not the point.
*To evangelize our cities and neighborhoods...another good try but still lacking.
*To create a safe place for broken people...no, another appetizer.
*To teach the Bible...no, so needed, but still not central or core.

So, what's the point? Each of the items above are good things, even great. In fact, I can name a church or organization that highlights that as the core, the main thing. There is a mission statement that matches the belief. Programming and budgeting then falls in line with the central purpose. And then a book gets written highlighting this as the "main thing". Many copies are sold and a new church-trend gets created. Typically, a personality is celebrated...a method is elevated.

Once again, these are wonderful things to include in the course called "Christianity". We would certainly want to include these on the syllabus...missions, evangelism, bible teaching, helping the poor, beliefs, worship, etc. I am convinced, though, if we make these the main thing, we build a faulty foundation. We feed people a snack instead of a meal. We give them something to sell their lives out for, only to realize that they were travelling on a side-road...great scenery, but not taking them to the right location.

What if the point, the main dish, the foundation, the core is to...walk with God. Sounds too simple, doesn't it? To learn the heart of our God and the rhythms of grace. To know God's heart on an intimate, personal level. What if that's the point? Everything flowing from this one, primary stream. Sure, there are tributaries. But what if everything flowed from this river...the waters of walking with God.

What if...with this in place...and our energy, time, programming, money, etc. pouring into this foundation...we trusted that the other things (listed above) would actually happen. Do we trust God to walk with His people and make these things happen? Do we trust that people walking with God will actually lead them to be on mission, help the poor, worship, disciple, study, etc.?

Just some random thoughts here...but I have a growing conviction about this. Certainly do not claim to have a corner market on this one. Wanting to grow and be a student. At the same time, I've been around the church-block a few times, even played on the playground with many believers. Through it all, I sense that we have moved away from what is elementary, what is core, what is foundational. I'm ready to spend my days feasting on the main course. The appetizers will come...plenty of side-dishes to nibble on. Desserts will arrive. But as for me, I desire to feast on what fills, what satisfies. I think that's the main point.

Confession and Forgiveness

In preparing for the Disciplines Class that I am leading on wednesday nights, the following was very helpful from Richard Foster's book on "A Celebration of Discipline".
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Confession is a difficult Discipline for us because we all too often view the believing community as a fellowship of saints before we see it as a fellowship of sinners.

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To clarify forgiveness and what it means. Here are 4 things forgiveness is NOT…
1. Some imagine that forgiveness means pretending an injury doesn’t really matter. We say, “Oh, that’s all right, it really didn’t hurt me anyway.” That is lying, not forgiveness. Love and lies do not mix well. What we need is not avoidance but reconciliation.

2. Some think that forgiveness means ceasing to hurt. There is a belief that if we continue to hurt we must have failed to forgive completely. That is simply not true. Hurting is not evil. We may hurt for a long time to come.

3. Many would have us believe that forgiveness means forgetting. Just “forgive and forget”. The truth is we cannot forget. The difference is that we no longer use the memory against others. The attempt to force people to forget what cannot be forgotten only puts them in bondage and confuses the meaning of forgiveness.

4. Many assume that forgiveness means pretending that the relationship is just the same as it was before the offense. The relationship will just not be the same…that is just the fact. By the grace of God, it may be a hundred times better, but it will never be the same.

Soul Food

"A Christian community is therefore a healing community not because wounds are cured and pains are alleviated, but because wounds and pains become openings or occasions for a new vision. Mutual confession then becomes a mutual deepening of hope, and sharing weakness becomes a reminder to one and all of the coming strength."
-Henri Nouwen in The Wounded Healer

Loneliness

A good word from a dear brother and sage...Henri Nouwen...

"But the more I think about loneliness, the more I think that the wound of loneliness is like the Grand Canyon--a deep incision in the surface of our existence which has become an inexhaustible source of beauty and self-understanding.

Therefore I would like to voice loudly and clearly what might seem unpopular and maybe even disturbing: The Christian way of life does not take away our loneliness; it protects and cherishes it as a precious gift. Sometimes it seems as if we do everything possible to avoid the painful confrontation with our basic human loneliness, and allow ourselves to be trapped by false gods promising immediate satisfaction and quick relief. But perhaps the painful awareness of loneliness is an invitation to transcend our limitations and look beyond the boundaries of our existence. The awareness of loneliness might be a gift we must protect and guard, because our loneliness reveals to us an inner emptiness that can be destructive when misunderstood, but filled with promise for him who can tolerate its sweet pain.

When we are impatient, when we want to give up our loneliness and try to overcome the separation and incompleteness we feel, too soon, we easily relate to our human world with devastating expectations. We ignore what we already know with a deep-seated, intuitive knowledge--that no love or friendship, no intimate embrace or tender kiss, no community, commune or collective, no man or woman, will ever be able to satisfy our desire to be released from our lonely condition. This truth is so disconcerting and painful that we are more prone to play games with our fantasies than to face the truth of our existence. Thus we keep hoping that one day we will find the man who really understands our experiences, the woman who will bring peace to our restless life, the job where we can fulfill our potentials, the book which will explain everything, and the place where we can feel at home. Such false hope leads us to make exhausting demands and prepares us for bitterness and dangerous hostility when we start discovering that nobody, and nothing, can live up to our absolutistic expectations."

Book Titles?!?!?!

In working on the marriage book this week, I found some interesting titles to books. And yes these are actual titles...scary, isn't it??

Booty Call in the Church

Church, Who is Your Daddy?

Church, Go to Hell! Please?

Church People will Kill You

Hands Off my Daughter (Until After Marriage)

Love Never Fails...But a Marriage Can

Marriage Is Not A Cure All, And That's For Sure Y'all!

Try Hymn I Dare You For Your Marriage

If God Does Not Permit a Woman to Preach Then God Must be a Sexist

Forget the Epidural, Forget the Pain-Get Jesus

Jesus Was A Middle Schooler Too

The Three Billy Goats Gruff Find Jesus & The Three Little Souls

POSSUM Got Big Ears: Anatomy of a Child's Journey to Womanhood

Whoa Man! See What God Did with a Rib

A Good Man is Hard to Find, Even in the Church

Life Throws Many Curves; Just let God be Your Coach

From a Pothead to a Preacher's Wife

Burned Outhouses, Big White Chickens, And Other Sins I Could Mention

One Hundred and Forty Four Scriptural Reasons Why Women Shouldn't Preach

Pregnancy pains...

Is that what you call the final stages of pregnancy...pregnancy pains?? Well, we have been working on this marriage book, off and on, for 7-8 months...and now I am feeling the fatigue of the final stages. So ready for this book to be birthed. When you have been working on something for that long, everything starts to run together. So, we are hoping to get things finished up in the next week or so. Then, we will be nearing the birthing stage. Hope to have it in print by late april or early may. we will be sure to send out a "book-birthing" announcement. (i apologize to all the moms out there...for even "pretending" like i can feel your pain!!!!!!!!!)

Happy Birthday...

Happy Birthday...LIFE Ministries. March 1 is our official start date for the new ministry and we are quite excited. As with any birth, there will be much transition. Lack of sleep...diapers...crying...exhaustion...hold on, we just did this with Asher. Just when i thought we were over the newborn phase...another birth is here.

anyway, i am excited today and looking forward to what God has in store. we are tired from the last month of preparing for this birth. feel like i'm in the birthing suite right now...trying to catch my breath. need to rest some and take care of my own heart.

Would appreciate prayers this week...we are trying to put final touches on the marriage book with hopes to complete it by friday. days that are committed to writing are always opposed for us...so would appreciate prayers. strong prayers against the enemy.
(also, pray for financial support for the book. praying for the support to be in place by next week.)

Learning to love

A few more things to contemplate from a sage...Eugene Peterson...

"We learn how to love by being loved. Love is not built into our genes. A lot of very essential things in human life take place without learning or practice: We breathe, our hearts pump and circulate our blood, our sucking reflexes are fully developed when we come out of the womb, we kick and wave and scream, we cuddle and sleep and coo, all without schooling or training.

As we develop genetically, things come into play that do require teaching and training: reading and writing, social skills, artistic and athletic competence, emotional and relational understandings, how to repair a transmission, how to program a computer, how to get to the moon. At the top of these learned behaviors, these achieved identities, is love.

Everyone more or less knows this, but after we've reached the age of thirty or so, having failed at it so many times, it seems so out of reach that many of us settle for a human identity that is more accessible--like one associated with playing the violin, or playing a ten-handicap golf game, or repairing a transmission, or getting to the moon. When we run into John's (biblical writer) barrage of sentences on love, it just doesn't seem very practical. We shrug our shoulders and say, "Well, I've tried it, tried it a lot. I don't seem to be very good at it, and the friends I've tried it on don't seem to be very good at it either. How about something a little more down-to-earth."

But John won't be deterred. He says, in effect, "This is about as down-to-earth as you can get. Don't you remember hearing the Word became flesh and dwelt among us...Isn't dwelt among us down to earth? And God so loved the world that he gave...isn't world down-to-earth? You are the one he loves, and this world is the ground on which he loves you. I'm not putting anything alien or ill-fitting on you. This is who you are, your identity, loved by God. But being loved is not all there is to it. Being loved creates a person who can love, who must love. Getting love is a launch into giving love."

Solitude...

Leading a class on wednesday nights called "Celebrating the Disciplines". This week, we are celebrating the discipline of solitude. Wanted to share a few thoughts that might encourage us toward a deeper walk with God. This is taken from Richard Foster's "Celebration of Discipline".
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Henri Nouwen has noted that “without solitude it is virtually impossible to lead a spiritual life.” Why is this so? Because, in solitude, we are freed from our bondage to people and our inner compulsions, and we are freed to love God and know compassion for others.

To enter solitude, we must disregard what others think of us. Who will understand this call to aloneness? Even our closest friends will see it as a terrible waste of precious time and as rather selfish and self-centered. But, oh, what liberty is released in our hearts when we let go of the opinions of others! The less we are mesmerized by human voices, the more we are able to hear the divine voice. The less we are bound by other’s expectations, the more we are open to God’s expectations.

But, in solitude, we die not only to others but also to ourselves. To be sure, at first we thought solitude was a way to recharge our batteries in order to enter life’s many competitions with new vigor and strength. In time, however, we found that solitude did not give us power to win the rat race; on the contrary, it taught us to ignore the struggle altogether. Slowly, we found ourselves letting go of our inner compulsions to win and our frantic effort to attain. In the stillness, our false, busy selves were unmasked and seen for the imposters they truly are.

It is out of our liberation from others and self that our ears become open to hear and our eyes unveiled to see the goodness of God. We can love God because we do not have to love the world. Through our solitude, an open inner space has been created through which God finds us. In solitude, we experience a second (and third, and fourth, and fifth…) conversion. In a deeper more profound way, we turn from the idols of the marketplace to the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ. God takes this “useless” Discipline, this “wasted time,” to make us His friend.

A happy by-product of becoming the friend of God is an increased compassion for others. Once we have peered into the abyss of our own vanity, we can never again look at the struggles of others in condescending superiority. Once we have faced the demons of despair in our own aloneness, we can never again pass off lightly the quiet depression and sad loneliness of those we meet. We become one with all who hurt and are afraid. We are free to give them the greatest gift we possess—the gift of ourselves.

Now Launching LIFE

These are exciting days for our family as we launch a new ministry called LIFE. The last month has been incredibly busy with pulling together all details and preparing for the start. Melody and I have been working together to lay the foundation for this. We are both dreaming together and excited about the things that God has in store. In fact, Melody has been working a lot on a website for the ministry...check it out at www.lifeministriesnow.com.

Some have asked where we stand on the marriage book..."Every Marriage Needs a Divorce". We are about 70% complete. Our goal is to finish the book by mid-March so that we can send to publishing. We have 2 self-publishing companies we are looking at using. Both could have the book available by May which is when our first marriage weekend is happening. Pray with us about the financing of this book...need about $3500 to cover all publishing costs and secure some copies up front. Also, pray for us next week (first week of March)...committing the week to writing.

Right now, we have been balancing a lot. Though these are exciting things we are working on...it has been a tiring month or so. Pray for some restoration and strength and balance as we start this new ministry. Also, pray with us about finances. Just like starting up a business, there are many expenses on the front-end that we are trusting God to provide. We trust that there will be many stories to tell on the other side of this one. Following the Wild Spirit...